Asking for help can be really hard.
With a newborn little love to care for, tend to, feed and love, whilst your body and your mind go through some really significant changes after birth ~ it is really important to think about what is going to support & help you as you navigate your postpartum period.
We are not alone in feeling a little awkward asking for help, and that is okay, but we need to remember ~ by looking after yourself, you are caring for your baby as well.
Clarify what you are needing
Communication is key. Be direct, specific and finite.
Think about (and even write it down!) what you need so the person knows exactly what it is and how they can help you.
Don't feel guilty, you can say yes
This can be extremely hard, but you need to know mama, people WANT to help! People want to be a part of your village. If you can do with some help and support.
Let them in.
Don't apologise
“It is understood, implicitly, that people who are on the same team—people who share a sense of relational or collective reciprocity—will lean on one another from time to time for support. And that, naturally, this support will be reciprocated. Apologies that accompany a request for help subtly imply that we must not be on the same team; otherwise, why would you be apologizing? In this sense, apologizing actually undermines our shared in-group identity, increasing the gap between us and severing our feelings of connectedness.
Instead, make a request and offer appreciation when someone helps you. That’s much more satisfying for everyone, all around.”
~ adapted by Heidi Grant’s book
“Reinforcements: How to Get People to Help You”
Use online platforms such as MealTrain.com
Online platforms such as Meal Train can take the pressure off for not only yourself but for those who want to help by providing some food.
Online platforms can also be super helpful in getting help with a little less awkwardness at times!
When you feel like there is no one to ask for help
If you do not have family or friends nearby, there are some other options for getting some additional support including:
- Asking neighbours
- Invest in a postpartum service such as a doula
- Utilise the family & childrens health services
- Organise for a temporary cleaning service
- Arrange for weekly grocery delivery
- Cook and freeze meals in advance.
What if you don't actually feel like you want or need help in that moment?
Say no! You don’t have to accept help all of the time, especially if it is not actually going to be HELPFUL to you at that moment.
Honour yourself in that by setting those boundaries.
Professional support and help
If you feel like you just need more help, or someone you know is in crisis and needs help now, call triple zero (000).
You can also call Lifeline on 13 11 14 — 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
There are several organisations that provide support and education for people with mental illness and their families and carers throughout Australia.
Beyond Blue
PANDA (Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Australia)
Lifeline Mindspot
Friendline Eheadspace
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