The feelings of mummy burn out and feeling “touched out” are common for mothers to notice as they journey through motherhood. Being a mother is intense; it is full on; especially as we give our everything to our families - it is easy to forget our own needs, putting ourselves at the bottom of our neverending to do list which is why we have compiled a list of things you can implement when you have some of these big feelings.
So what is mummy burnout?
Mummy burnout, as described by author Sheryl Ziegler is “the emotional and physical exhaustion that you feel from the chronic stress of parenting.”
Some examples of what mummy burnout can be felt as is -
emotional and physical depletion
feelings of relentless mum guilt
disengagement,
depersonalisation (just going through the motions) rather than feeling present or engaged in everyday life
social fatigue
rage
anxiousness
What about feeling touched out?
According to Louise Packard, Ph.D., a psychologist specializing in neuropsychology of trauma and attachment, feeling touched out is “a form of sensory overload” where mothers can feel overwhelmed with the constant physical contact with their children.
So what are something strategies we can do when we start to feel this way?
1. Communicate what you need & ask for help.
Talk about how you are feeling with your partner, friend, family member or another trusted person in your life, community support etc. Communicate and ask for support, people want to help as much as it can be daunting, people feel privileged to help. The other people in our lives are not mind readers so by communicating your feelings and your needs, we are able to ask for support to share the load. People want to share the load.
Sometimes just talking about your feelings and needs can also just make you feel better as well. Let it out mama!
2. Take a moment for you.
It is okay to take a break, destress and recharge. It is not selfish to look after yourself. In fact by looking after yourself you are actually looking after your children by giving them the best mother you can be. While someone else is with your child/children, take the time to recharge.
Here are some ideas to do to so -
Have a bath or shower
Listen to music with headphones in
Sit outside in nature
Rest or nap (if you can)
Have a “mindful” moment
Listen to a meditation
Listen to a podcast
Workout
Dance
Go for a walk
Read some positive affirmations
3. Change your surroundings.
Sometimes when we are in the thick of feeling touched out or burnt out, we are at home with the kids. By acknowledging these feelings and changing our surroundings, heading outdoors, getting out of the house, going for a walk to collect flowers or heading for a drive could be the quick reset and recharge that we need to get through the day.
Changing your surroundings can also be as simple as going into another room and putting on some music and dancing around the house with your children - you are connecting through non physical touch - even try playing a game of hide and seek (and let them seek whilst you have a tiny moment to recharge!)
4. Lower your expectations and give yourself GRACE.
You are not alone. These feelings are normal. These feelings will not last forever. You do not have to feel guilty for needing space, for needing time. You are a good mother, and you deserve to have your needs met.
Give yourself some grace. You are loving, you are caring, you are worthy.
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